Saturday, January 06, 2007

Belated Five

Well, it's not Friday but I thought I'd put up my five late just because I want to. For those of you who don't appreciate scattelogical (sp?) humor you may want to look away. For those of you yet to have kids - just know that these things are true and that when you do have kids they will actually matter.

Five Kinds of Poop created in our House

1. Baby Poop - this is what the nursing baby makes before solids/baby food is introduced. It has an odor but is not offensive. It is not a mass. Wipes off easily.

2. The Wedge - shaped remarkably like a wedge of iceberg lettuce, and aptly named by my friend Lara, this begins to appear after rice cereal and other baby solids hit the diet and sticks around until the child is potty trained. Stink, but fairly easy to clean.

3. The Turd - also known at times as a turdlet or grown-up poop. This is self explanatory and begins appearing around the same time as the wedge. It's always suprising, and some how cute the first time you see it - after that it's just poop. Stinks, but clean up is a cinch.

4. Yucky Poo Poo - this is what results from a stomach bug, teething, or sometimes antibiotics. Aptly named by Paris, it is yucky whether it is in a diaper or the potty. This can begin at any age, and I personally still experience it so apparently there is no end. Odor and clean-up is, well, yucky.

And least favorite.........

5. Saucer Poop - this is what results when baby poops while playing in the exersaucer. The continual bouncing around causes the poop (regardless of what form it took to start) to leave the top of the diaper and crawl up the back - sometimes all the way to the neck. This same thing happens to newborns in a carseat. And, as we discovered last night at Denny's, this unfortunate phenomenon happens when the baby is sitting in the Bumbo as well. What a pleasant dinning experience it was. Odor may vary in severity, but clean-up is always, always difficult!


Stephanie said...

That is so funny and true. Sorry your dinning experiance was not as pleasent as you had hoped. The last one can happen when you go to visit someone in the hospital and you don't have extra clothes so you put the baby in the seat in just a diaper, cover with a blanket and make a quick exit. New parents don't need to see that in the first few hours of being a parent. See you tonight. Love you.

Mike & Kate said...

Okay first of all I LOVE that I found your blog again and second that it was this post I came to. Hysterical. We don't have kids yet, but I've changed enough diapers in my life to laugh out loud to this one. Love to you and the fam.

Nellie said...

Having experience with all the levels of "poopdom" mentioned, I had to laugh out loud at your descriptions. Can't wait to see what you write about this Friday!

Jason said...

I can add one that has appeared occasionally in our house: Butt Explosion Poop. This one is an inexplicable phenomenon that is pretty self-explanatory, but it mainly happens in the middle of the night and sometimes requires sheet changing, regardless of whether or not a diaper is involved.

Traca said...

Love it!!!
I hear ya, sister!