Monday, October 31, 2005


My 3-year-old daughter walked out of her room one day last week and looked me squarely in the eye and proclaimed, "I have to be before I can do Mommy." Um, hello? Someone took their profound pill that morning! The timing was good though, so I thought I'd share some random, not completely coherent thoughts on this topic.

Be-Do-Have is a saying Easy and I are familiar with from some of the training for the business we have. It's generally taught like this. You must become (be) the right person before you can do the things that will allow you to have rewards (typically in business seen as earthly things - mostly monetary gain). Frequently it is even taught that God will put you through things to help you become that person before he helps you do those things that allow you to have the rewards he has planned for you. I struggle a lot with the strange balance of wanting only God's will in my life and at the same time pursuing some sort of earthly success....but that another blog. For now I'd like to just ponder the thought that lies beneath this idea of being first.

Just days before Paris proclaimed this little jewel our preacher, Foree, had delivered a great sermon. Granted I didn't hear all of it. Those of you with young children know that hearing an entire sermon is a treat all to rare. What I do remember is Foree speaking about how many times in scripture it says that it was not yet Christ's time. The idea being that there were things yet to be done before it was time for him to save us all with his ultimate sacrifice. He needed to experience and become all that it is to be human and then wait for his Father's timing. I thought of this after Paris statement. In truth Christ had to BE one of us before he could DO what he was sent for so that WE can have the most amazing reward. The idea of being and doing so someone else can reap a reward is one not well tolerated in American society. It is however, how we should live our lives. To truly be Christlike we must constantly strive to become the person God wants us to be so we can do His good work and allow others to "have" a share in his Kingdom!

Another thought......this one credited to Daniel Orozco, our current Sunday school teacher. Christ did not tell his disciples that they were to BE fishers of men. He said they were to BECOME fishers of men! This implies process does it not? Even Christ went through a process of being human before His time came. I think for us it is in that process of becoming we realize that we can not be with out acknowledging our dependence on our Father. I also think we are never done with the process. Even when we have made remarkable "discoveries" and see our life changed through the Truth, there is still more. In reality we can not become enough. We can never do for ourselves what Christ has done for us. And we will never DO anything that will earn us our heavenly reward. Instead we should always strive to become what God wants us to be to better His kingdom, not for our gain.

So, sweet Paris I guess I agree. There are many things in life that require you to "be" something before you can "do" them. You have to be a certain age to vote or drive, and a certain height to ride rollercoasters. The beautiful lesson that I hope to impart to you as you grow is that you should always strive to be what God wants you to be, and by loving and accepting His son who has already done the doing for you, you can indeed have the reward of eternal life. That is my prayer for you daily.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Fabulous Smooch

I have an amazing husband! I got an early anniversary present. Easy (aka Smooch) and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary on December 19th this year. Well, I got a great present sweet Smooch got us tickets to go see Bon Jovi in Houston on February 21st!!!!!

For those of you new to my blog, you may not know that I LOVE Bon Jovi! It takes an amazing man to spend money - on good seats I might add - to take his wife to see her biggest celebrity crush in concert. The cool thing is that from now on when I see Bon Jovi I won't just think "Wow"...instead I will be reminded that I have a fantastic husband that loves me enough to plan four months ahead to take me to a concert I've always wanted to attend. I am truly blessed with this man by my side. So, thanks Smooch for a great anniversary present, and thank you God for a fabulous Smooch!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Bathing Badges

Well, it's official. I am in full-on spoiling mode. I spent the better part of half an hour bathing a stuffed dog today. For those of you who see Paris frequently, you have most likely met Badges. Paris' "Grant Susan" (that's great-aunt Susan) picked Badges out for her last time she was in Texas. Nobody knew Badges would become "the toy," but that's exactly what happened. He goes EVERYWHERE with Paris. Needless to say he got filthy. I, of course, was afraid to wash the little guys for fear he wouldn't survive and....well then what would we do? So the hunt began. After looking many places, Graggie (my mom) found another Badges. Jackpot, we have a backup.......let the bathing begin!

I read the tag. It said surface wash only. Stink. I really wanted to toss him in the washer. Graggie advised against it. I consulted with other mommy friends. No one had ever attempted bathing a beanie, so I was on my own. We opted for the equivalent of a sponge bath. He doesn't look like new, but he is most certainly in better shape than he was an hour ago. Back-up Badges will stay safely hidden for now.......who know what the future holds as the newly clean Badges continues to go on adventures.

The whole thing got me to thinking about how Christ cleanses us from sin. Just a few days ago when I brought up the idea of bathing Badges, Paris insisted that he did not need a bath, he was "just fine." Then, she spilled some koolaid on him. There he sat with a glaring red stain. She decided a bath would be OK. Isn't that exactly what we do? We walk around thinking we're just fine. We don't see the filth that we gather on a daily basis. We might see a spot, but we think, "It's just a tiny little spot, it not so bad." After getting used to seeing that spot we'll even defend and justify it. Indeed, we begin to think it is "just fine!"

Then something will happen. Satan will work on us. Suddenly we find ourselves with a big red stain. Once we start looking we might even realize just how dingy we've gotten. So we go to our Savior and an amazing thing happens. He doesn't throw us in the washer to be twisted and spun, he doesn't hold us under in the sink until the spots disappear. Instead, the instant we confess and ask, he makes us spotless. It is the most gentle cleansing anyone will ever have. He's already suffered the pain and agony necessary for our cleansing. All we feel is our burden lift and a peace that makes no sense to our human brain.

The amazing thing is that when He's done, we are white a snow. We are better than we were to start with because of His precious love and sacrifice. Let us all remember to bath in His love on a daily basis, not just when we spill koolaid on ourselves.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Expansion and Anxiety

It occurs to me that expansion and anxiety go hand in hand. When I think of a business making a push for expansion I see a picture of the CEO and most of the managment scurrying around taking care of details as their stress levels rise. In the church too, expansion can create anxiety. We've been in our new building for over a year and still haven't sold the old one. Just try and tell me that doesn't create some anxiety for church leaders. Even when we start a new study to expand our thinking there is a bit of anxiety because we know some of our beliefs and concepts may be challenged....or even have to change.

So, I guess it's not shocking that as we are trying to "expand" our house (building a bigger one) I'm a bit anxious. I know, however, that God planted that dream in our hearts during a very challenging time and that He will bring it to fruition according to His plan. I guess most of my anxiety rests in that statement. His plan. For the first time in what I consider the "adult" part of my journey with Christ, God's plan and MY plan just don't seem to be in sync.

I didn't plan to have my husband laid off weeks before having our second child. I also didn't plan for it to take 9 months and most of our nest egg for him to find a new job....that's in Houston. I didn't plan for the appraisal on our house to come in $13,000 lower than the price we had on a contract to sell it. I didn't plan on our construction loan taking FOREVER to process. I didn't plan on having my third child now. At no point did I plan on trying to build a new home with my Smooch while pregnant. I would never have planned it that way. Seriously guys, pray for Easy.

Maybe that's the point. Perhaps I was getting all to comfortable thinking I was in control of my life. Well, let me tell you something. I know better now. God had proven over and over to me that He takes care of His children. Yet, every morning when I get dressed and realize that my waist has expanded, my bust has expanded, my rib cage has expanded, and my tush has yes, expanded, I have to fight. I fight the anxiety that boils up as I try to figure out how I will be a good mother to three children under the age of four, how we will maintain or improve our financial situation given the low appraisal and RISING gas prices, where I will put this precious little one if the house isn't done in time, how will not loose myself and my Smooch in parenting and work and school and all that takes up our life, how, why, where, what, why, why, why

Then I remember. I remember that I am a child of God and I am a friend of God. I'd like to say that the anxiety and questions vanish, but the truth is they show up frequently during the day. The good new is that they stay in my head. They aren't from the heart and they aren't in my heart. In fact, in my very center I feel peace. All that anxiety can't touch the peace that passes understanding. Thank you God for filling me up every day with that peace.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Tag Team

Well, I've been tagged by both my mother and sweet Paige, so here it is.......

7 Things I plan to do before I Die

Go to Hawaii with my Mom, Nana, and the Cali girls
Write something that is published (I have a title, just no text yet)
Learn to sew
See my children grow up, get married, and make me a grandparent (in that order)
Build a HUGE house in the Hill Country
Take my daddy on a safari
Buy a pair of custom made shoes

7 Things I can do

Cross stitch
Nurse a baby, talk on the phone, and tie a toddler's shoes all at the same time
Collect a urine sample from a two year old
Tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue (it's genetic)
Shoot a deer
Make a good lasagna
Sing my babies to sleep

7 Things I can not do

Draw anything more elaborate than a stick figure
Speak Spanish
Go to sleep as quickly as my husband
Beat my brother at any game.......ever
Keep my babies from getting hurt at some point
Keep my house clutter free
Prevent the ripple of fear I feel when I see a spider any larger than a pea

7 Things that attract me to another person


7 Celebrity Crushes

Adam Sandler
James Spader
Jon Bon Jovi
Robert Redford
Mark Ruffalo
Anthony Hopkins (have you heard that man speak?!?!)
Richard Gere (sp?)

7 Things I say the most

Tripper, no no
Paris Grace!!!
What's wrong?
I'm tired
Are you OK?
Hey Bubba

7 People I'm Tagging

Mary Lou
Jason M
Lesa B
Paula H