Thursday, April 06, 2006

To Everything Turn turn turn...

I find myself with mixed emotions today. There truly is a season, and purpose, to everything under heaven. I don't think they are clear cut seasons though. I think they overlap so much sometimes that we don't really know where we are or exactly how we feel. Either way, I love the scripture (and song) that addresses this topic.

I have a plaque in my home with the scripture printed on it that was given to me by some very special friends. Technically it's already packed up for the move, but I can picture it clearly in my mind. It has been special to me since the day I received it. Those special friends are part of my mixed emotions today. Over the last year they have come under attack by Satan himself. Their marriage has gone from bumpy to shaky to court dates. These are people that I love. They helped raise me as part of my extended Christian family. They truly shaped parts of who I am. My heart is breaking for them and there is nothing I can do but cry for them and pray with faith that God will see them through this - together or not.

Another good friend lost her father in a car accident last night. I don't even know what to say to her. I think if I were in her shoes I would be in a useless heap on my living room floor. As part of me grieves with her, we rejoice together. Her father was baptized Sunday morning. Praise God! He so clearly has a plan for his children. Talk about mixed emotions. The spirit part of us is doing flip-flops of joy over his decision to accept Christ as his personal savior and the human part of us grieves his departure from this world.

And then there is the stuff happening in my own house! I am getting so very excited to meet Sweet Vivian!! Her arrival is so soon. Within two weeks I would say. I can't wait to see what she looks like and introduce her to her sister and brother. To see that look of total and complete adoration on Easy's face when he looks at her. I'm not sure if Easy realizes that's what shows when he looks at his children, but that's what I see. And at the same time I am very anxious about her arrival. Exactly how will she get her? I'm schedule to have the procedure done on Monday where my doctor will try to turn her. Will it work? If it doesn't, what will a c-section be like? If it does, when will I actually go into labor and have her?

So, my seasons are overlapping a great deal at the moment. In our cradle roll classes we teach the babies about warm clouds and cold clouds meeting and making thunder and lightening. That ties in well with the storm analogy from my last post. Amidst the thunder and lightening and increasing winds however is a very quiet voice. "Sarah, be still. I've got it covered. Afterall, I am God and I love my children more than you can fathom."

Father God, thank you for loving us so very much. Let your peace and comfort be on all those who need it. I think that includes all of us here on earth. You know specifically who is on my heart right now. I know this next request is a bit selfish, but if you don't mind Lord, could you tell Vivian to turn, turn turn........